Embracing fairy tales

"Why do you read those to your kids?", my friend asked.
"They're fairy tales. They all have a lesson to be learned." I said
"Yes, but you read them the original ones. Everyone dies in those. why cant you let them watch TV and be done with it?"she looked at the book in disgust.
"Well, yes, but reading these tales fosters their imagination and problem solving skills. I mean, how else would you know how to handle a big bad wolf, or a giant? Do YOU know when it's appropriate to call out Jack Frost's name?" The blank look she gave me told me everything I needed to know. She didn't. What a shame.

This was probably the zillionth time I'd had this same conversation with this same friend. She honestly believed that I was harming the girls by letting them learn about all kinds of mystical creatures and old folklore, because that's what fairy tales are. In her mind, they're old, have no lessons whatsoever, and therefore, no value at all. I disagree completely, which is great, because that alone fosters discussion...but, I digress.

Fairy tales are wonderful! They do teach lessons, no matter how embedded in the tale they are. They are meant to be frightening because the world is not always such a kind place and their value is astronomical! These tales were collected from elders a long time ago. We should treat them as treasures and not some stories meant solely for the entertainment of children. When did it become ok to dismiss these stories this way? How is it harmful to feed a child's imagination?

I love watching children's faces as they hear about Hansel and Gretel, about Little Red Riding Hood, about Snow White and Rose Red, about creatures that haunt the woods: pixies, fairies, goblins; you name it. It's akin to lighting a torch in a dark cave! They want to know what the lesson in each story is, how the problem was solved, how they could have done it better....it's a perfect way to engage them in conversation. Why not foster that? I mean, it's wonderful to teach children facts, give them the truths of daily life, but why take away all magic? I think my friend is missing that part of it all.

I get a little mad when I have conversations like this. Not because I have to defend my position, there just isn't one right answer when it comes to how people parent their children, but because people are losing their love of reading and the magic that comes with it. That's really what it boils down to. It's ok to watch a show about facts, the reality of life, but it is absolutely boring to pick up an old book and get lost in it. There is magic let loose in the world, when a book is opened. You're absorbed, transported, taken away to a different place, different worlds, and take part in an adventure that is unfolding right before your eyes. What is so harmful about that?

My friend just doesn't see that. It doesn't make sense to her because she has replaced books with electronics. She loves techie stuff, which is probably where the disdain for books and fairy tales comes from--it's just not "in" enough for her. That's fine for her but not for me. While I love the techie stuff too, I respect these tales from long ago. Someone thought they were valuable enough to put into a book, to preserve for future generations. This information, no matter in what form it was presented, was deemed valuable or essential to life. Surely, they still hold weight today, in this age. At least, they do at my house.

So, our friendship plods on, not as strong as before. My friend has since moved away, life gets busy. My consolation: when she does come to visit, she can continue to look at me blankly, or even shake her head at me as I teach all our children about when to call on Jack Frost, or how not to upset a house brownie. Deep down, I know the little girl in her is listening and thinking about walking to that dusty old bookshelf and letting a certain book's magic choose her to be its next great reader. There is magic everywhere, you just have to know how to find it, right?