"I am not afraid of the Jabberwocky. Mama is MUCH more scarier than that."
I laughed out loud when I heard it! You never know how much a child retains from all you expose them to until they make such an interesting comparison. Yes, I have read the poem to the girls and yes they know exactly what it is. Why was this comment made? You see, I had just asked the Pixy to help clean up because the Banshee's bedroom looked like a horrid war scene. There were dolls everywhere, My Little Ponies strewn about like casualties, a princess castle looked like it had been stormed by a rabid group of Vikings--it was bad! I want to say that I laughed and that was that..but it made me stop to think.
It is no secret that as a Puerto Rican woman, I hold fire in my belly and use it as I need to. It's a great skill and I believe there should be an Xmen heroine that uses it. But, because of this quick temper, I really do try to be careful about exploding on anyone and it can be easily misunderstood for some other emotion. Those who know me well, always say that I carry this sort of intensity about me in everything that I do. As if I am busy taking in absolutely everything, internalizing the good things, and slowly burning up at the bad out there. That's fine. I am perfectly ok with that. The fact that my children think the Jabberwocky, a dragon-monster-nightmarish-nasty thing, is just a pet lizard and I am scarier than that, kind of bothers me. Who knew? She has feelings!
That being said, while I am patient with my children (and animals), I do expect certain behavior from everyone. Sure, we can have fun and play, but Mama's word is law and it must be done. No matter what. I expect them to treat others with kindness but suffer no fools. I expect them to want to learn new things every day. I expect them to put good things forth into the world, so that they may receive good things in return. Simple. Discipline(without harshness) is something that honestly comes naturally to me, as I was a teacher and I worked with children living with autism. Being proactive and getting things done is a must here, otherwise we run the risk of not getting a thing done. Life really is that hectic here, as the Sailor's schedule is anything but. In actuality, we live a crazy fun life, with lots of music, laughter, and mischief. So, it certainly surprised me when I got a report from the Pixy's teacher that she had misbehaved at school and called the teacher "selfish".
The incident? Well, Pixy needed to use the restroom and the teacher asked her to wait while another student finished up in there. Pixy exploded. Part of me was proud that she's a spitfire and is not afraid of saying what's on her mind, but I also couldn't help but feel sad that this was happening to her. It is my belief that she is acting out because the Sailor is not home and we are under what is lovingly referred to (note the dripping sarcasm dripping off the page) as "the adjustment period." Oh yes, that lovely period when the kids, the animals, and the Mama all try to make sense out of one of their pack members just up and leaving. Sigh! On a trip across the country. To play music for adoring crowds. Oh, and did I mention they are stopping in Disney? Groannnnnn....
Naturally, I had a good conversation with my daughter about respect and how we must always respect others, because it means that the person in question is important to you somehow. She looked at me, sheepishly, and asked what I thought the best course of action was. I turned the tables back on her, mainly because I believe that life is a huge teachable moment: "What would you do?"She said she would first apologize to her teacher, take away some of her toys, and turn things around. I thought that was a good idea and it was put into effect immediately with great results. I also was able to get the Sailor to talk to her via FaceTime and soothe her worry at his not being at home. I think that was the icing on that cake. Things, thankfully, took a turn for the better after that.
Now, I am a tough cookie. Life throws punches at me and I am the type that says: "that all you got?" Very much a la Anita Blake. But, that was probably one of the hardest conversations I have ever had to "watch". Pixy was extremely down about the Sailor not being here. She was angry about it all and she confessed that she was taking it out on the wrong people. She also mentioned that she didn't like all the things that were going on with the Banshee and that she was sad she couldn't "protect her". (Banshee is currently being evaluated by doctors on her awesomeness level) It was heartbreaking. I think I took this all to heart and somehow turned it into failure. I felt like I failed my children. (They smell fear, though, so I had to put up a front) Talk about a weird feeling. Here I thought life was dandy. So, needless to say, I was probably a bit tender when the Jabberwocky comment was made in brutal honest fashion, as children are wont to do.
Truth is, life will be different for us without the Sailor being around for a bit. It will definitely be harder on the girls now, as they are more aware of their environment. However hard this may be, I am resolved to make this whole odd time called Tour, as easy on them as possible. We don't have much help, due to many factors, but we will tough it out together and make this look easy. I will try my best to not sweat the small stuff and put enough good energy out there to make these girls feel safe and happy (and stable). I want them to continue to be the happy little monsters that they always are.
Now, as for the Jabberwocky thing. Well, I think I shook it off , laughed about it, and moved on. After all, what did I expect out of children who think zombies are fun playthings? Can't help but laugh at that!! I guess what I internalized from this is that even Mama Wolves have their little moments. What happens after that, well...that's what truly makes us leader of our pack or a spectator on the sidelines. N'est pas?
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