Lost in Austen

I have been obsessed with Mr. Darcy since I was extremely young. I believe I found a copy of Pride and Prejudice sitting on a bookshelf somewhere and I was bored. I believe it was love at first sight...or first read. This love carried on, even as I picked up the book again and again. It was a constant. I was obsessed. Still am.

I have always had a love affair with books. My family used to laugh that if you didn't hear from me in ten days, the search party would only need to look in the nearest library, where I would be buried in a book completely oblivious to the world around me. Other girls had their dollies, their clothes, their dreams of being princess one day; but I always wanted to be Elizabeth Bennet. Don't get me wrong, I had all those things too, but books were more precious to me than anything in the world.

Every time I have been depressed, or just needed a quick escape, I have gravitated towards Pride and Prejudice, where I've gotten lost in the wonderful world of The Bennet family many a time. I am sure that Jane Austen never thought her work would speak to a young Puerto Rican girl, but there it is. It is my belief that she wrote it for women everywhere, regardless of where they were topographically speaking or where they were in matters of the heart. Maybe I lived in Georgian England in another life, who knows? Somehow, that book is real. It absorbs me and becomes a portal into that world.

Today began as any other Sunday. I was exhausted. I hadn't slept well the night before and I knew that we had to stop by church today. The Pixy had Sunday School and we needed to get there early because I wanted to get a seat before the crowd got there. Today, everyone would want to get to church early and pray--the Ravens were at the Superbowl later. The problem though, was that I couldn't get up. I heard the alarm from far away and just couldn't get up. I think I started to shout all kinds of obscenities at the alarm clock and I heard the Sailor say: "Today we are staying home. I am exhausted." I think I did a happy dance, albeit while half-asleep. As the Sailor and the girls made their way downstairs for playtime, I decided I would sneak away to Longbourne, with all the other crazy Bennet girls, through a movie called 'Lost in Austen'. Trust me, the book is sitting on my bedside table.

I believe this movie gives the novel a fun twist, and one that has probably been imagined by every single female the whole world over. Who has not thought of being transported into a novel and having to adopt the role of a main character, simply to meet the love interest? Most bibliophiles, I am sure. I, for one, never thought to plant myself in the story, much as the protagonist of this movie (Amanda Price, played by Jemima Rooper) has. She has taken Lizzy's place in the book and Lizzy has gone to live in modern-day London. A fun idea, to be sure! As for me, I always became Elizabeth Bennet; never switched places with her. I didn't want to. I saw through her eyes, and to a point, agreed with her view, regardless of how many other times I'd read the book before. I know..lunacy, I am sure. But, I treated myself to the film, no matter how different the movie is from the book, since my book club had just finished reading the actual novel and I needed a pick-me-up. Mr. Darcy=Lisa-candy, and everyone knows it.

Soon enough, I found myself in Amanda's shoes and thoroughly enjoying this new adventure. I found myself laughing along at Amanda's antics, shocked at the modernized Lizzy Bennet, and entranced by the first glance of Fitzwilliam Darcy. I know I always hold my breath at the first sight of him, maybe thinking that if I breathe, the spell will be broken, and he will be just a man in a funny hat. When I regained my composure, I found myself wondering what Jane Austen would think. I wondered what Mr. Darcy would think of this film. I also wondered what could possibly drive me to seek him out every single time something went awry in my life. Mr. Darcy MUST be my knight in shining armor.

You see, I remember reading the novel when I was younger and being made fun of by everyone, because it was a belief that girls who read were doomed to be ugly and boring once they grew up. Remember, I lived in prime beauty queen country and anyone who didn't really fit that mold, was ..well, odd. So, I swore to myself, I would never lose this awesome gift of reading just to become part of the throng. It worked.Very well. Quite a few people read(pun intended) my desire to pick up a novel instead of doing things typical for my age as a huge need to be completely antisocial. Maybe they were right. Who knows? In my head, though, I always hear my grandfather saying that a "woman who can read book, drink a beer, tell a joke, and hold intelligent conversation is a great one, and only a fool would let her go." He was really big on intelligence and always made me feel beautiful because of it and all the quirky things that made me who I was, regardless of the 'ugly duckling' thing I had going on. He was a good guy.

Soon enough, the movie was done and the spell was broken. I was brought back to the present by sounds of my girls fighting over who got to tell me that the broom had fallen on its own, which in my family's tradition means a visitor would come today. I also heard the Sailor tell them that no, it probably wasn't going to be Harry Potter, as he probably had a test to study for. I laughed out loud at that one. It seems that the gift of imagination was passed on quite well! Life got back to its typical rhythm very quickly, as it always does at our house.

 I still couldn't help but think that reason I am so drawn to this novel, so in love with the unfolding of events and its characters, is that they represent much more to me than what they are; fictional characters in a book. To me, they have become real people. I have assigned each a real world counterpart, even as I am the interloper in their midst, the one who they must accommodate every single time I pick the book up to read. A reader carries their own baggage, you see. (Thank YOU Thursday Next, for that wonderful idea) I also wonder, what about mean old Mr. Darcy is so attractive to me. What makes him the ideal? I want to say it is mainly because he is completely misunderstood. Events in his life have shaped the person he is, and until he learns another life lesson, he will continue to live on as he does. Or perhaps, it is because despite his flaws, he is not afraid to try new things,  showing himself to be courageous in spirit. I guess I am not sure.

Maybe, just maybe, I think of the one moment in the novel that pops out at me every single time. Yes, THIS must be why I seek out Mr. Darcy. For everything else he is or embodies, he likes a woman who reads. He told Caroline Bingley and Lizzy Bennet so. And a man who likes a woman who reads...well, he is a catch as well. No matter that the truth universally acknowledged is that "a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife." Hmmm. Perhaps, there is also truth in that a woman in possession of a good book must always be in want of a new adventure. Yes, I think I like that.